About The European Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster
The European Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster came to being because of the need for a place for all European Pastafarians to meet, discuss and praise His Noodlyness. We would want to unite Pastafarians from all over the continent, so that we could actively together spread His Word even farther and farther.
If You have been touched by His Noodly Appendage then You have came to the right place. Feel free to browse the Site, comment, visit our Forum or submit Your own sightings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Who is The Flying Spaghetti Monster?
His Noodlyness The Flying Spaghetti Monster or The FSM for short is the true deity for all of his worshipers who are called Pastafarians. The FSM is a kind and generous Creator. He created everything in existence, including our World and all life.
The Church of the FSM exists for thousands of years, from the very beginning of humankind. The exact date of the creation of the World is not known because, His Noodlyness has a tendency to generate misinformation which makes it a little hard to evaluate. Frankly, all the scientific evidence of evolution, World creation and much more are things that were fabricated by Him, this apparently has something to do with FSMs immense sense of humour that we not always can understand. The truth is that our Church stayed hidden from public view to a time when our prophet Bobby Henderson, being instructed by His Noodlyness , wrote an Open Letter to the Kansas Schoolboard concerning the teaching of the Intelligent Project of world and life creation in the same manner as the Evoulution Theory in public schools.
Pastafarianism is a true religion!
Many people think that Pastafarianism is not a true religion but only a satire. Nothing more untrue! The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a true and lawful form of faith. We have lots of tedious and simply boring arguments, manuscripts and holy texts to support that claim. Everything that may seem a little humoresque or silly is so only by coincident.
The only dogma in Pastafarianism is the lack of dogma. We have no restrictions on how each Pastafarians faith should look like, it is totally individual. We care non for rituals or prayers and other unproductive ways of wasting time and energy. There is no physical authority and any Pastafarians has a right to say what his religion stands for.
Although there are few things on which our faith stands:
- We believe that Pirates were the first Pastafarians. They were just peaceful explorers but the Christian propaganda through the years made them seem barbarous and cruel rascals,
- Every Friday is a sacred day,
- We like pasta and beer,
- We don’t take ourselves to serious,
- We love contradictions.
We don’t follow any divine code of law, but our Maker, the Flying Spaghetti Monster has given us some pointers about life. They are called The Eight I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts:
The Eight I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts
1. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don’t Believe In Me, That’s Okay. Really, I’m Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn’t About Them So Don’t Change The Subject.
2. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don’t Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We’re Talking About Fashion And I’m Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia.
4. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Build multi million-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.
7. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Go around Telling People I Talk To you. You’re Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can’t You Take A Hint?
8. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It’s A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn’t Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.
In Pastafarian tradition there are a few sacred days and holidays:
At the time that coincidentally Christians commemorate the birth of their saviour, Pastafarians are celebrating the Holidays. Yup, that’s the official name of this holiday season, but that has a plus-side, You can wish someone “Happy Holidays” no matter of his religious belief . There is no common way to celebrate Holidays, every Pastafarian does it in his own manner, but lately many believers make clever ornaments or light displays and put them on their trees and houses.
This holiday is celebrated on the beginning of spring, and is oddly in the same time as the Jewish ‘pesach’. At this time, we eat more of His Noodlyness body, that is well... pasta, and we think about the time when we were Touched by His Noodly Appendage.
Not to get mixed up with the Muslim Ramadan, but well it’s timing is similar. During Ramendan we think about the good old college times, and thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for all that we accomplished from that time.
Talk like a Pirate day!
Arrrrg! As we, Pastafarians drive our lineage from Pirates, we commemorate them on the International Talk Like A Pirate Day, which is on the 19th of September. I believe that the name suggests well how the commemorating is done.
Every Friday is a sacred day if You’re a Pastafarian! Because... Why not?! That’s because!
The idea of Heaven for every Pastafarian is quite simple. It consist of all the elements that him or her consider to be Heaven for them.
You like cheesecake? You’ll get plenty, and none of it will go right down your bottom. Want chips? No problem, every type of all perverted flavours known to man and not only. It is said that in Heaven there are uncountable places of fun and rejoicing which you can move around thanks to a sophisticated form of griffon or unicorn transport. Apart of that, there is a couple of permanent attractions:
- Beer Volcanoes – spitting all kinds of this superb beverage,
- Stripper Factories – producing male or female strippers, to be chosen by individual preference,
- Fellow Midgit/Midget – a nice chap who has lot of great stories (he has seen the creation of the world!), you can talk to him, have a couple of beers or such,
- Cable and broadband Internet connection,
- Much, much more!